Sand, Sweaty Armpits and Dirty Diapers. Yes, those are tasting notes.

Even my crappy cell phone camera cannot diminish the beauty of this scene. I call it "Chamblaise and Chesterfield".

Indeed, I'm not describing a day at Wasaga Beach when I talk of diapers and armpits. Those were precisely the descriptors I would use to talk about wines I've tasted over the last 24 hours.

Now before I launch in, I did do a sort-of blind tasting of Viognier 2 days ago. But I'm skipping ahead a bit, 'cause I've gotta get some other stuff out of the way first, before my thoughts dissipate into the nebulous cloud that is my memory. More on that tasting to come, promise.

If you've been following my blog, you'll know that bald honesty is my new policy, and that I had a heck of a time about a month ago when my marriage seemingly went BP on me. Well I'm here to tell you that my husband and I are officially in the happy camp again. Sorry, Dan the cheese man. You'll have to use those muscular forearms to hold yourself up over some other horny 30-something Canadian woman. But we'll always have Guinness cheese, and that free corkscrew you gave me. *smooch*

ANYway, as I was saying, we're back in marital Pleasantville, doing things like going on actual dates with no children. For reals. AND we're even going to places other than the local pub. AND we're going to places that have a wine list that goes beyond Woodbridge and Yellow Tail. Pair all that up with great make up sex, and you can practically see the hearts and rainbows hovering over the roof of our house.

Last night, our date night landed us at the Explorer's Cafe in Midland. I hadn't eaten there since it opened a couple of years ago. Liked it then, but it never seemed to be open when I was free to go. But, that's a thing of the past: the Explorer's is now open 7 days. You should get your butt down there, because I had the best meal out in years. And best of all, they've got a killer selection of wine. GOOD wine.

For starters I wanted something light and enlivening, so I picked Masi Mascianco Pinot Grigio/Verduzzo. (The wine list said 2008, but when I asked to see the bottle it was 2009. Tsk tsk!) Verduzzo was new to me, and I always love tasting grapes I've never had before. Peoples, from me to you, I could drink that stuff all summer. This was a very lively wine, that even gives you a million little prickles on your tongue, as if to say "WAKE UP MOUTH!". Just a little more than medium acidity, this wine has the same effect on your mouth as Sweet Tarts (and tasted a bit like them too). Fruit flavours were apricot/peach; the non-fruit descriptor I came up with was sand. I guessed medium alcohol (13%). Num num num! This wine can be found at our puny lcbo, and almost certainly at that bigger, sexier lcbo near where you live ('cause every lcbo is bigger and sexier compared to Midland's).

Next up, Georges Duboeuf Beaujolais Villages 2008. I really wanted a glass of red (for health reasons! Gotta get in that resveratrol every day!), but was having seafood fettuccine, so Beaujolais was the best I could come up with. Truthfully, not sure if this wine was spoilt or not. The overwhelming flavour, well I would charitably describe it as ripe cheese curds, and uncharitably as a Frenchman's sweaty armpit. I've always read that spoilt wine tastes like mouldy cardboard or the barn, but sweaty flesh? In amongst the cheese curds I detected violets and raspberries. I didn't finish the glass.

Lastly, a lovely near and dear friend had me taste her mils' home brew today, just for fun. Her charitable description was 'swill'. I was treated to a mouthful of something called 'Chamblaise' (apparently this is not a grape, but rather a trademarked name of some DIY wine kit company). Pale yellow. Aromas of dirty diaper. As flat and varied as tap water. Sewage aftertaste. Sweet merciful Jebus, people. DO NOT HOMEBREW! Seriously, do you think you can do better than winemakers who do this FOR A LIVING? Do you cut your own hair too? Life is too short for bad wine!

Tomorrow: Viognier tasting. Night night buttercups.

B.